I've been feeling things lately, a certain cohesion and momentum, though occasional anxiety, and things are going really pretty well while I'm realizing I can't be 'perfect' but just doing my best and being far more present. I think really explaining all of what I'm feeling and going through right now is kind of beyond words at the moment; I'm really so in the middle of it all. I think there may be a turning point coming up some point soon, or at least I know I'm looking forward to breathing at the end of this semester. I have taken the time to build a social life I like, and my confidence, self-comfort, and trust in humanity has grown because of it, so thank you all my new friends out there - I love you! I'm constantly having to rededicate myself to school, so it's always an upcoming struggle, but I can tell I'm committed (and it shows). Work is more complicated, but I'm proving myself to be competent in whatever I do (or needs to be done). I'll probably start looking for another campus/student job soon as a way to move beyond Katie and into more areas of interest, but I know I will miss miss miss the plants. Glad I've got my own little tribe of plants around me. Maybe even if I don't get this insect job, I should start keeping insects. Goodness knows breeding crickets here would be helpful and save me a lot of hassle and money all the time, but I'd rather keep something like the hissing cockroaches Ben used to have or preying mantis or caterpillars - just something interesting.
Anyway - beginning to ramble on, but I felt this period of time shouldn't go undocumented in some way, even if it's only as a learning tool to jog my memory. So, it's 10pm; it's been a busy weekend and is going to be an even busier week. Time to hit the sack.
Good night.
