There's a zine I have at home Krys gave me a long time ago. It's called "Dysfunction Junction" and it has all kind of information I agree with related to people connecting to each other and society in general. One thing it says, though, that I've had trouble practicing is "It's okay to pick & choose your friends, but judge not."
Today, after getting pretty annoyed with Sunflower Bike shop, I headed over to Jefferson's for some crayfish & fried pickles. Both of the outside tables were occupied, one surrounded by girls, the other with jut one guy at it. I wanted to sit outside pretty badly (at least partly to read for school), so I figured he might not mind sharing a table. The waitress at the bar confirmed that (he works there). When I asked, he was pretty friendly, which was nice. This is not a story about him, but rather the girls at the other table.
They were the sorority type: bleached hair (2/4), thin, fashionably dressed, whining about nothing to each other. I couldn't help listening in a little bit as one chatted on her cell phone; really, it was nearly impossible not to eavesdrop given her volume & tone. I was just beginning to sneer when I realized nearly anybody could be having the conversation she was having; the speech patterns were all that were different, a sign of her culture. This was the first moment of cohesion.
The girls continued to chat: some mild drama they were turning into something bigger. I applaud the guy for not being dragged into it when they tried, though that may just be 'appropriate male activity.' That topic died down as it became apparent (more from the way they teased each other than any major loss of composure) that they were drunk, one girl more than the others.
The drunkest girl was, by far, though, the nicest & most outgoing. She mentioned that one girl (not at the table) tended to embarass everyone, but that the embarassing activities also endeared her to everyone. Maybe she was speaking from experience. Many dressed up people started to walk by, groups in quick succession, some of the more dressed-up women with small boquets. Emily (or was it Amanda? - she introduced herself later) started offering her congratulations to anyone obviously in the wedding party (despite the conspicuous absense of any bride). She pulled the waitress back when she noticed I wanted another beer. She introduced herself, asked about my book, and offered suggestions for some she'd recently read (admitting they were the only two she'd read in a year). She'd just graduated KU, and asked about my major. One of her other friends felt obligated to mention her name in the introductions, though without any tangible warmth. Conversely, Emily/Amanda reached out to shake my hand & smiled.
Do I expect these girls to say hi next time we pass in the street? No, I don't even expect them to remember me. Obviously, I can't even remember their names. But for that moment, two people really unlikely to ever communicate or connect did. And for that, I have "Dysfunction Junction," beer, and a desire against fragmentation to thank.
